


simple duplicity

by sabswrites



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ethics, Existentialism, Hope, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:19:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabswrites/pseuds/sabswrites
Summary: "It was too much sometimes, even a simple conversation. Everything seemed like too much. Too much and too fast. The fate of the galaxy was at stake and he was a protagonist in the fight to protect it. He had become increasingly aware of the trope he was falling into, and didn’t understand why or how any of this could possibly fall to him."Poe and Finn have a somber chat and consider their places in the universe.





	simple duplicity

Poe sighed as he scanned the area of the small rebel ship. The last rebel ship. So many had been lost, and in so little time he had not yet let himself mourn. He wasn’t sure if it was shock or denial, or, more likely, a combination of the two with a shot of pure trauma. He had never been one to question his cause, he had always understood exactly what he was fighting for, but now, on occasion, he began to wonder what really was left. In a universe that had allowed him to lose so much already, what chance did he have of perseverance. 

He probably shouldn’t even be thinking about that though, he thought, he didn’t really have time to. Every small concession he made for himself felt selfish. Poe wouldn’t allow himself to be selfish again. The world couldn’t afford it. Although perhaps he was being egotistical as to assume he mattered so much, either way, he purged it all from his mind and carried on. 

He slowly made his way around the perimeter of the common area, exchanging polite, yet unmeaningful greetings with those he passed. _At least it’s not so cramped in here,_ he thought, moments before realizing that it was in fact a horrific observation. Seeing a familiar figure sat in consternation, Poe came to a halt. 

Finn held his head low and his gaze downward. For a moment, he didn’t seem entirely real; his gaze appeared glazed over and his features held a mildly synthetic quality. However, Poe couldn’t blame him. How could one not become absorbed in trancelike existentialism from time to time after all they had endured?

Poe didn’t necessarily consider himself an amazing conversationalist. He was good enough at smooth talk when the situation required, but conveying genuine interest and concern was trickier. “How’re you holding up, Buddy?” He settled for, along with a firm shoulder pat. 

“How should I be?” Finn replied. There was an edge of hostility in his voice, although he hadn’t intended there to be. 

Poe didn’t take offensive, because he understood exactly how Finn was feeling. There weren’t exactly many compelling reasons to have hope at the moment. It wasn’t entirely diminished, it still existed in bursts; Rey was back, General Organa had survived, those rebels who remained were safe for the moment, yet fear was all too imminent. 

“Okay, not great then,” Poe laughed slightly. 

“I’m sorry I-” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Poe waved his hand, “I get it.” He took another scan of the area and noticed someone else across the room. He decided to try going in other direction. “So you and Rose?” he said suggestively. “She seems to have you a bit, ah, distracted? Recently?” 

Finn smiled as he fondly reminisced. “I don’t think It’s like that, _buddy_.” He drew his gaze back towards the floor as he gathered his thoughts. “She showed me a different way of looking at the universe, seeing things beyond what the surface implies. I’ll always be grateful to her for that.”

“Oh, so that’s all then?” Poe raised an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“I’m not…” Finn started, “I don’t…” he trailed off again, his eyelids lowering. It was too much sometimes, even a simple conversation. Everything seemed like too much. Too much and too fast. The fate of the galaxy was at stake and he was a protagonist in the fight to protect it. He had become increasingly aware of the trope he was falling into, and didn’t understand why or how any of this could possibly fall to him. “I don’t think I understand those kinds of relationships yet. I know what it means to be a part of a unit. I understand loyalty and trust, and I know what it means to be a friend.” Finn could feel the hole that Poe was staring through him to the point where looking back up simply made more sense than further avoiding his eye. 

“Well I’d say understanding those things is a pretty good start,” Poe replied gingerly. “Being in love is like that, but debatably worse.” 

“Ah, are you some kind of expert then?” Finn asked, amused.

Poe laughed and shook his head slightly, “Well, I-- No, I wouldn’t say that. I guess I forget how strange things must be for you though.”

“I wasn’t made to be human,” Finn started, “It’s hard to fully believe that I am sometimes, if that makes sense.” 

Poe thought about that, and the longer he thought about it the more it infuriated him. “No,” he replied firmly, “that doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make any sense that you would have to think your life wasn’t worth as much as anyone else here.” 

It was difficult not to question one’s morals in times of immense adversity, and Poe supposed it wasn’t always necessarily a bad thing to do so. What made a life human? There were of course many biological answers, but to Poe there always been more to it. A certain way of experiencing the world different to that of other species. This however came with consequences, including the ability of the mind to be so easily corrupted. There was a line between a truly evil being and one who had been tricked into acting so. Was harming someone contributing to that evil truly justified even if they were deceived into doing so?Or rather, so conditioned to believe that it is right? These questions often came close to tearing him apart.

Finn was on the other hand a victim of this very philosophy, and he wondered the same things about himself. Was he truly good for leaving a cause he knew to be malevolent, or bad for believing in it for so long? Did coming to understand the horror of his actions lessen the horribleness of them them? He felt stuck, not torn between what he believed and what he had been made to, but sure of what he wanted, and unsure of how to get there.

“I’m not sure what’s next,” said Finn. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t think anyone really knows,” Poe replied, “but we’re alive for now, so we might as well make the most out of it.” 

Finn lifted the corners of his mouth slightly, “I hope we can both be alive by the end of this.” 

Poe could say a lot of things, he could express the declining probability of that wish, or he could say that he didn’t know if it would ever really end, but instead he just said, “I’d like that,” and out of all the thing he wasn’t sure if he believed in, he was sure of that.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while and It's not much but I really wanted to attempt something about these babes! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Comments make my day <3
> 
> visit me usnesa.tumblr.com !!
> 
> \- sabs


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